Women constantly complain how there are “no good men” out there. Of course there are. men know this. Women know this. But most women (not all) usually put the “good men” in the “friend zone” and date bad boys.

Many “good men” out there read and ask for advice about women. On the web and in print, almost every advice column on “getting a girlfriend” says the same thing: “treat women with respect,” “buy her gifts” and be “romantic and caring.”

If you follow all that lovely sounding nonsense, you’ll be downloading porn for the rest of your life as you live out your days in the “friend zone.” Have no fear, there is advice out there that really works.

As you read the tips below, they will sound counter-intuitive, illogical and crazy, that’s because they are. Remember guys; you are dealing with women who live by feelings, not logic. Feelings are a different playing field than logic. When you are on her playing field, not yours, play by her rules and you will win every time.

1) Women say they want good guys, but always date bad boys. Are they lying? Deluded? Yes and no. They want a guy who looks like a bad boy, but has the heart of a nice guy. They want a man who does not exist. Nice guys make the mistake of being too nice too soon. In the beginning, you need to make sure she knows that you are tough and she cannot push you around.

When you first meet a woman, pretend you’re in jail and you’re meeting a new inmate. You need to act tough, but don’t pick a fight. If she disses you, just walk away, that’s very effective because it is “social isolation,” which women do to other women all the time. You are fighting on her field, remember? Later on, you can get emotional and mushy, but never in the beginning, she wants a challenge.

2) Always use a backhanded compliment. You cannot be cruel, but you have to compliment a woman in a way that points out her flaws, the same flaws that she obsesses about. Tell her how you like how her face scrunches up kind of funny when she smiles or the way her hair is beautiful, but never looks quite perfect because has that natural look.

Why do this? To let her know that you see her the same way that she sees herself: flawed, imperfect, never quite good enough. This works best with very attractive women who do not see themselves as attractive, but flawed. This also keeps her from being on a pedestal in your eyes, a pedestal that you will never reach.

3) Don’t always respond to her phone calls or texts. Make her work for you. Women like the chase, believe it or not. So become really interested in your work, put your work in first place. Then she will work and work to have that first place spot. American women have no real problems in life, compared to women in the Congo or Iraq, so you have to create this artificial challenge so that she can chase you.

Make the romance a little difficult for her so that she has something to talk about with her crazy friends. Unlike men, women love problems because that gives them something to talk about in their boring lives of make up, recipes and menstrual periods. Does this sound crazy? Illogical? That’s because it is. Do it anyways.

4) Never give a woman gifts in the beginning. Hollywood is lying when they tell you to buy a woman flowers, chocolates, etc… Anytime you buy a woman a gift you are in the position of the “giver” which is the weak position, the submissive position. You must be in the dominant position. After she is your girlfriend, she can have gifts on her birthday and Christmas.

That’s it. If she whines and whines for little gifts of appreciation, smile, tell her she certainly deserves something, and then don’t buy her anything. She will be impressed that she cannot wrap you around her finger like all the other losers. Again, what women say they want and what they really want are two different things.

5) Rarely tell her that you love her or even like her. That way you keep her off balance (submissive position) and she is constantly working for your love. Every now and then tell her that you love her and then you need to shut the hell up. Women only value what is rare and hard to get. Again, women love these artificial difficulties that give their lives some sense of “purpose.” Be stingy in your love and attention and she will value it much more.

I realize for romantic guys this ruins your fun, your sense of romance. Well, I’m sorry to break the news, but women are not as romantic as men. If you act too romantic, she will see you as a sucker, loser and desperate “nice guy.” Then she’ll give you this lecture on how wonderful you are and how many women (not her) will “love a guy like you.”

6) Never confide in your woman, hire a therapist. The moment you confide in her, she becomes your equal and women do not want that. They want to think that they are with someone who is smarter, braver and better than them. Never let her think she could ever help you with anything. Women can bitch and cry about wanting to be “equal” with men, but they don’t want to be equal with the man they are sleeping with.

Also you should never be her therapist, if she starts to tell you her problems (which she most certainly will), nod for a few minutes, then excuse yourself on some more important task. Or, change the topic of conversation. Or actually tell her, “Have you ever thought about talking to a therapist about that?” Remember that guys who listen to women for a long time are called “therapists,” not “boyfriends” or “lovers.” Less talk = more action.

7) Let her show you off to her friends and family. This is part of the never-ending vanity streak in women. She wants to use you as her tool to show her dear loved ones how much better she is than they are. Women are very, very competitive, even down to who has the shortest and least painful period. Yes, you are being used. Yes, you are her prop, her tool; but keep in mind, if she shows you off, then she really, really likes you.

So be quiet and go along with this nonsense, you don’t really have to do anything. Just smile and be polite (taking Vicodin beforehand will make it even easier!) Allow her to use you to make her precious friends feel bad and she will love you, sleep with you, and do anything for you, because you helped raise her low self-esteem in front of her loser friends/family.

8) If she gives you the “deadly friend pat” then you are in the “friend zone.” This is usually a little pat at the beginning and/or end of the date, where she will pat your shoulder or your back. That’s the same “pat” that women give children pets and little old ladies, whom they are never going to date. You are in that category, branded for life. If she gives you a tight hug, pressing her chest and body against yours, that’s a good sign! So watch those hugs!

Once you are in the “friend zone,’ you are in it for life. Sorry guys, it is a life sentence, with no appeal and no parole. Yes, you were unjustly convicted and unjustly imprisoned in the “friend zone,” but no amount of pleading or logical argument will get you out. And please do make the mistake of thinking that if you become close friends or best friends, you will somehow make the transition from my “friend” to “lover.”

9) We all know what men get from being with women =sex. But have you ever wondered what women get from men? Women get emotional support, a feeling of confidence from being around a confident man and relief from their problems – if the man can make them laugh. Never give her any of that for free. Never agree to being “just good friends.”

If she says she wants to be “just good friends,” what she means is she wants to use your qualities to make herself feel good. This is just as selfish as a man using a woman for sex, except it’s the reverse; she is using you for emotional support. If she wants to be “just good friends.” She may not realize it, but she is emasculating you by asking you to be her “girlfriend.”

It will erode your self-confidence with future women if you become her ‘good friend,” so do not do it.

10) Realize that men are pro-active and women are re-active. That means you speak to her first, you ask for the date, you make the plans, you make her laugh, you make her feel good. Sounds like a hell of a lot of work, I know, but women want a man who can make them happy and they have every right to want that.

Keep in mind the stages of seduction. You must make her feel safe, then happy, then you move in for the kiss. Most good guys can make a woman feel safe and happy, but they fail to move in for the kiss. Once that window of opportunity is closed, you are stuck in the “friend zone.” Like little girls on a playground who want to know which boy likes which girl, women want to classify men quickly as a “friend” or “lover.” You must make her see you as the lover early on.

I realize some of these tips have sounded harsh, but all is fair in love and war. And as sweet, nice and kind as women may seem, they can be just as manipulative as men, except they use tools such as “feelings,” “relationships” and “love” with deadly accuracy. Men must be on their guard, value yourself and do not give your soul to an ungrateful woman, As Frankie Valli once sang, “No woman is worth crawling on the earth, walk like a man my son.”

 

(There is one great book about dating written by a woman, which I do recommend because it gives men insight into the crazy minds of women. BTW women hate this book, because it tells the truth about them. Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough)