"Wedding Tips"

The film “Wedding Crashers” looks fun; who wouldn't want to hang out with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, and bed beautiful babes at weddings? However, having a best man (or groomsmen) who is trying to bang the bridesmaids, drinking too much, or acting like a moron will mean big problems for you; because if your buddies screw up your bride's special day, then you will never hear the end of it.

The problems could start before the wedding, when your best man and/or bridegrooms try to take you out for a wild bachelor party. Now, some women hate this and other women say they “don't mind” (that means they really hate it). Your friends' well-intended plans for debauchery could end your wedding before it begins. If naked women start jumping out of cakes with cameras flashing, you're headed for a pre-wedding divorce!

Many a man has had to use a Bill Clinton excuse to his new bride, “Honey, I did not have bachelor party relations with that woman.”

To diffuse this disaster, have you best man plan something wholesome: camping, paint-balling, or drinking yourself into complete oblivion. If you do choose to booze it up, don't let your best man talk you into it the night before the wedding, or you've got a hangover (and the bride's parents) to deal with on the big day.

When it comes to dressing for the wedding, you may often hear, “Do we gotta wear tuxes?” from some groomsman who refuses to fall in line. If he doesn't dress the part, then it's you, not him, who will catch hell from your dear wife-to-be (btw if that sounds somewhat illogical, get used to that type of thinking for the rest of your married life).

Most weddings have a wedding rehearsal; which is sort of like rehearsing for a play. Make sure your best man and groomsmen show up, depending on the church and/or religion, there may be a lot of directions and cues to remember. You'd be amazed how a simple wedding could have more stage direction than a Broadway play!

Speaking of show biz, it's funny in films when the best man “forgets the ring” or “drops it down a drain.” However, in real life, any accidental losing of the ring by your best man will be seen as a declaration of war by your bride-to-be. She will believe it was an intentionally planned conspiracy, bigger than the Kennedy Assassination. Make sure your best man is not forgetful or a butter fingers!

After the wedding, the best man may lead a toast, and this could be a huge opportunity to embarrass you, “And I'll never forget the time we had those two underage twins in Las Vegas .” Make sure his toast is well-planned and written out beforehand!

Once the wedding is over, watch out for honeymoon hijinks! More than once, best men and groomsman have planned wacky stunts, such as hiding under the bed in the honeymoon suite while the groom lovingly violates his new wife. Never tell anyone, especially your best friends, or loved ones, when or where your honeymoon is going to take place!